Stolen Kings and Iron Gods

Dances with Wolves

6/3/17 Game

Important Notes:
Gina needs to mark off enough money for people to hire managers
Ryan will be out June 17 – 24

Session Funnies:
Ted: Patrick, do you have your password for the Obsidian Portal?
Kevin: The Obscene Portal?
Pranav: That should be the name of your brothel.
Kevin: DONE.

Kevin: Over the entrance of my brothel is going to be a sign that says, “Abandon all shame, all ye who enter here.”

Gina: Move the people out of their tents.
Patrick: Relax, you’re too tense.

Pranav: Alex, you have learned a very specific set of skills in restaurants all over the world. “If you fuck with us, I will kill you and cook you. But if you are nice to us, I’ll feed you.”

Kevin: I could have HARPY paladins immune to disease.

Ted: You’ve convinced them that you’re -
Alex: Horrifying?

Alex: Everyone is probably gaping.
Kevin: I’m not making that face! I’m making signs that mean “TRAVELING ZOO”.

Alex: Is there any big game here?
Gina: There’s a rhino.

Gina: Ryan, we are now playing a game of Dances with Wolves.

Pranav: Can we make a corps-
Kevin: I can give you a whore.
Gina: You want a corpse?

Pranav: Can we make a corps of dire wolf riders?
Kevin: Only if they’re whores.
Patrick: The dire wolves?
Kevin: Hey, I’m not picky.

Alex: Do the others get XP for this?
Patrick: We experienced it!
Alex: You sat there listening to me growl.
Patrick: Which is a real experience for us!

Alex: Do we get any rolls for that?
Ryan: You can make pizza rolls!
Gina: That was terrible.
Ryan: I am more confident in his ability than that!

Gina: A mill would be useful.
Pranav: The more wood you get, the happier you are.
Gina: sputtering noises
Kevin: You walked into that one, Gina.

Gina: Torch is already a fully operational town.
Kevin: But it’s not yet a fully operational battle-station!
Ted: Patrick’s working on that.

Alex: I’m putting a ballroom into my restaurant.
Gina: Because you can dance if you want.

Pranav to Alex: You kept shining dancing lights in Nakpik’s eyes and weren’t paying attention. It’s YOUR fault you didn’t notice them.
Kevin: Think about the team for once!
Alex: But he’s a fucker. A chuckesniffer.

Alex: I’ll build a pier and then a restaurant on it!
Ted: It’ll be called Crow’s Crab Shack!
Alex: Eat at Crow’s!

Patrick: Do Gnomes count as vermin?

Alex: Nakpik is a kobold? I thought he was just an asshole.

Patrick: Instead of producing excrement, he produces duct tape.

Gina: They are fey, and not undead?
Ted: Yes, they’re fey.
Pranav: quietly Iron Beard.


  • Korax – jerk woodcutter harassing the nixie
  • Loy and Latricia Resbin – a pair of settlers who are building the settlement Tatzlford.
  • Gnarlthropple – a gnome explorer
  • Teressia – a dryad
  • Melianse – a nixie

Quest Hooks:
Treasure Map – complete

Notable Locations:

  • EG – dire wolves here; well, there were
  • S – Landmark – Ruins of a ferry (Nettles Crossing)
  • M – source of saltpeter!
  • Hex 13 – nothing
  • Hex C2 – not fully explored, but met some gnomes
  • K2 – has a beast den for a turtle creature
  • L2 – has a landmark major ford
  • O2 – Candlemere Tower (landmark)
  • U2 – Abandoned Ferry (landmark)
  • F2 – undead infested barrow
  • P2 – “the mud bowl” (dangerous)


  • 1 Arodus – leave to exploring
  • 2 – 3 Arodus – exploring EG
  • 4 Arodus – hunting
  • 5 Arodus – back to Thornfall
  • 6 – 12 Arodus – Kingdom Turn 5
  • 13 – 15 Arodus – downtime
  • 16 Arodus – Travel to Hex 26 (S)
  • 17 – 18 Arodus – Exploring Hex S (26)
  • 19 Arodus – Travel time
  • 20 – 21 Arodus – Exploring Hex M (19)
  • 22 Arodus – Travel Time
  • 23 Arodus – Exploring Hex 13
  • 24 – 25 Arodus – Travel back to Thornfall
  • 26 – 31 Arodus – Downtime
  • 1- 7 Rova – Kingdom turn 6 (Loy’s request, Ishri’s birthday)
  • 8 – 10 Rova – travel, meet gnomes
    *11 Rova – get to B2 to meet the loggers
  • 12 Rova – travel to the dryad
  • 13 Rova – Shelynion and Pyria and Krankor go deliver the feather tokens while the rest stay at the tree to guard it
  • 14 Rova – Shelynion and co get back to the dryad
  • 15 Rova – onwards to the tree monster
  • 16 Rova – back to the dryad; messenger leaves to go back to town
  • 17 Rova – arrival at the undead fortress
  • 18 Rova -
  • 19 Rova -
  • 20 Rova – messenger arrives back in town (two weeks from today, we need to be back)

Game Notes:
We made a watch order and a campfire plan.

Watch order – 3 hour watches:

  • Pyria and Shelynion
  • Nakpik
  • Oxzig
  • Lumiriel and Krankor (Resist and Lauresselin memorizing)

While we are sitting around the campfire, Krankor spots a bunch of dire wolves trying to sneak up on our mounts. He uses his amulet to cast Speak with Animals and threatens them with death, and then offers them food. They buy it. He pets them. After some conversation, they agree to follow us around for a few days while we explore, and then we take them back to town. Finnan is going to take charge of the dire wolves in the beast den that Pyria is building.

When we get back, we rule. No, seriously.

Then it’s time to explore again. We find a broken ferry in Hex S. Krankor finds a +1 ranseur buried at the edge of the water. Why would anyone bury a magical ranseur on the bank of a river? That’s what I want to know.

We move on to Hex 19 (a smashing hex, with some lovely acting). We’re pretty sure that the treasure map leads here, but we aren’t very observant, so we have to stay an extra day before we find it. On the plus side, Lauresselin finds a source of saltpeter. Eventually, Krankor finds the only tree for miles around, and we dig up treasure.

We search another hex and find nothing, and then we return to town and rule again.

Kingdom Event – Loy Resbin and his wife Latricia approach the king. They want to found a new settlement in the forest along one of the rivers, where the Tatzlwyrms were, which spans the river. Have plans and materials. Mira remembers them.
It would count as a free settlement eventually, but counts as an abandoned hex right now, because it’s not connected. We get a discount on whatever the first building we build there.
The king approves it. Tatzlford will be the name.

Then the Explorers we sent out get back. In Hex A2 they met a dryad who has requested the king’s assistance in killing some creature killing her tree. There is some sort of dispute in hex B2 between a band of loggers and some sort of fey. In Hex G they found a giant abandoned keep crawling with undead.

So, we hire a messenger to send back in time to give instructions for the businesses we’re all running, and then we set off. This time we take Mikmek instead of Oxzig, because we want Mikmek to find some carrier pigeon eggs, or to help us befriend more random animals (he’s a ranger).

In Hex C2 we hear unintelligible cursing as we are riding through the woods. It’s something to do with kobolds. We investigate, but Mikmek and Nakpik are hiding because we don’t want them to get ganked.
We find some gnomish explorers who are surveying the area. They are looking for an ancient abandoned dwarven outpost. Their wagon has been lodged in a muddy bottom of a deep stream, and it is broken. Lumiriel uses Expeditious Construction to make a ramp, Krankor fixes the wagon with duct tape, and Pyria’s rhino haul it out. Apparently some random kobolds ambushed them. They weren’t Sootscale, there’s another tribe. As a reward, they show us their maps. And show us some sites in the Greenbelt.
They also feed us. Krankor is critical of their food attempts. Gnarlthropple is their leader, but they don’t want a job.

The next hex is B2, which has the loggers. When we arrive, there’s a strange standoff going on – on one side of the clearing is a camp with people lounging around, and then there are 2 loggers on the other obviously under an enchantment and guarding the trees.

The loggers are run by a man named Korax. Korax is a gruff angry person (possibly a great friend for Kressle!). He claims a nixie attacked them unprovoked. The nixie sticks her head up and defends herself. Her pond is surrounded by a grove of coachwood trees, which are a special kind of valuable lumber.

Krankor proposes settling this over a meal. It works. Krankor shows her the fey token and the nixie opens up a bit more.
With discussion, Shelynion determines the following – the nixie will let the loggers take the wood they’ve already cut down if someone provides new trees for her. There’s a dryad nearby who has feather tokens. All parties agree.
We stay there that night and Lauresselin talks to the nixie for a bit. Then we go visit the dryad.

When we arrive, the dryad Teressia
is weeping. A satyr is hiding in the tree branches keeping an eye on her. She’s hamming it up. She is in distress, she’s just trying to make it seem over the top. Her region of the woods are suffering from an evil carnivorous tree plant that really likes eating dryads, called a scythe tree. They are intelligent; they are just horrifically evil. They like to torture their victims before eating them. It’s in the Hex SE of here.

The dryad gives the feather tokens in advance, so Shelynion, Pyria, and Krankor go deliver them while the others stay to guard the tree. It rains the next day.

The stalemate breaks up. The nixie promises to watch along the river for any threats, which grants us+2 to stability.

Then we go off to kill the tree monster. Krankor cuts some of its wood for smoking food. Gross, and probably unethical. The dryad is very happy and gives us a bunch of treasure. Shewill also keep an eye out for threats in the forest which gives us another +2 to stability

She tries to warn us away from the fortress. There’s something called the Dancing Lady, an evil fey, that lives there. We’re pretty sure it’s baobhan sith – they dance and entrance people and then drink their blood, and sometimes turn them into undead. They are fey and not undead.


chandrak ginamartin

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